


The weight of a single human emotion weighs me down (more than a tank ever did)

by hedawanda



Category: The 100
Genre: Angst, Bellarke, F/M, So much angst, like this is really sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 14:57:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7110286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedawanda/pseuds/hedawanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was inevitable, and too late</p>
            </blockquote>





	The weight of a single human emotion weighs me down (more than a tank ever did)

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are mine. 
> 
> If you are triggered my death please don't read

Clarke’s eyes showed less than a single emotion, her eyelids drooping over her glossed pupils as she tries to stay awake. She had been waiting in the hospital room for 3 hours trying to gain control of the scare she had just before then. She heard something crash in the living room resulting in her going to auto pilot. 

She saw an unconscious Bellamy with a forming black eye and rapid breathing. She felt her whole world collapse in one single swoop as she dropped to her knees. His nose was running with blood and she couldn’t tell if he was breathing now or not. She grabbed the phone and sobbed for help to 911. 

It was like a grenade. Clarke knew eventually this would happen, and it was a matter of time before Bellamy would get so weak, he wouldn’t be able to walk. They both found out he had extreme brain cancer in the left side that would result in damages to the body. Bellamy was dumbfounded on how he got this. None of his family members had it. The doctor had said that it must have been environmental. 

So for 4 months she saw Bellamy get weaker and weaker. The left side of himself started to not work right. He had to use a cane just to walk and it was like watching a dog kill itself slowly. It was terminal, no way to get rid of it, so they just had to wait for the day. 

Octavia was even more heartbroken when she got the call from a crying Clarke. Lincoln came with Octavia to comfort her. Lincoln and Bellamy were like brothers, so when he heard the news, he even shed a tear. They were across from Clarke in the waiting room and Octavia couldn’t stop crying. Clarke would cry, but she was so tired, her eyes were red and sore from crying so hard herself.

A doctor came in with a clipboard held to her chest. Her ponytail was tightly up cascading down her shoulder. Her face was softened with sadness as she looked down at the paper. 

“Clarke Griffin?” She asked, looking around the waiting room for the lucky one. Clarke stood up shakily, so did Lincoln and Octavia. Clarke held Octavia’s hand, gripping it for support. But really, Clarke felt as though she was a collapsing building being watched by millions with gaping mouths. The destruction was inevitable and everyone knew that. She wanted to scream at the doctor, telling her she wasn’t doing her job right, but she couldn’t blame her or anyone, only herself.

The bland light blue door read “100” as the number and the golden door knob was the key to her sadness as she turned it. There he was, laying there with a million things stuck in him like he was a god damn experiment. His black eyes swelled largely around his left eye and it was turning purple, almost blue. He was shaking, but not like he was back at home, he looked miserable. Octavia whimpered as she watched her brother hooked up to unknown machines and she quickly ran to him.

“B-Bellamy,” she quivered, holding his pale hand. The doctor gently grabbed her shoulder, shaking her head.

“He needs to rest, if he wakes up he might go into shock or worse,” she explained and Octavia sobbed harder, backing away. Clarke hated seeing Octavia like this, broken and almost helpless. The doctor backed away to get them all space as they watched Bellamy’s chest rise and deflate. Noise of the machine filled their ears as it got quiet and Octavia’s whimpers stopped eventually.

“Fuck,” Clarke finally hissed, standing up abruptly. Octavia jumped slightly at the sight of a very angry Clarke. The blonde’s hands were clenched up as she dug her dull nails into the palm of her hand. 

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck,” She growled rapidly as she paced the room. Lincoln sighed shakily as he watched her panic.

“Clarke, you need to calm down,” His voice said soothingly but that only ticked off Clarke more. She turned on her heel and looked at Lincoln with a glare.

“I don’t need to fucking calm down. I have no reason to calm down!” She was clearly shaking, tears stinging her eyes as she knew she was going to crack any second. Lincoln clenched his jaw, standing up and putting his hand up. 

“Clarke, please this isn’t you, just get a glass of water-” he was interrupted by her powerful voice. “Shut up!” Her voice echoed down the hallways and for Bellamy to wake up in a jump. His breathing became rapid again and tears ran down his cheeks. He tried to speak but nothing but air whispered through his lips.

Clarke’s eyes went wide as his heart rate spiked dangerously. The door busted open and two doctors came rushing in with stone cold faces. They gently pushed Clarke aside and pushed Bellamy down so he would stay calm. A needle was in the third doctor’s hand as he injects it into one of the pouches near by Bellamy that just so happened to hook to him like the rest of the clear tubes. 

Bellamy’s rapid moving slowed down and so did Clarke’s heart beat. Her eyes fluttered shut, pushing out any remaining tears as they danced down her cheek. Bellamy’s body was stiff, but taking in air as his eyes fluttered open. His veins consisted of drugs to keep him awake for now and that was all Clarke needed. She grabbed a chair once the doctors left and Octavia came from her panic to sit next to the long white bed.

Bellamy’s eyes were droopy and his pupils gray with the little life he had. Clarke grabbed his hand, holding it gently. All she could do was comfort him and wait for his pass. All the blood in his face had drained and he was whiter than a ghost in the night. 

“Bell?” It was like shouting into the void, waiting for a dead man to yell back something, anything. He smiled has he heard Clarke’s voice fill his ears and weakly clenched her hand in his.

“H-hey princess,” he stuttered, coughing afterwards. A smile dared to play on her lips as he tried to cheer her up. God she will miss him more than the stars would miss the moon. With his stupid pet names, his uncombed shaggy hair, his clothes that he washed maybe twice a month. Being his roommate was the best and worst thing she ever did. 

She didn’t want to admit it but she loved him, he wasn’t a brother to her, he was her best friend that she could tell him anything to. She could yell at him and laugh with him, they were two souls half divided and she was so lucky to find him. But life laughed at her face. 

“Why are you sad?” He asked hoarsely and she rolled her eyes. 

“You damn well know why,” she whispered back, her voice cracking. When he chuckled, it sounded like he smoked two packs of cigarettes in one hour. But she loved to hear anything from him, something bright. She took in a deep breath, trying to remember the last way he touched her, it was like this. 

He started to shake more and more and her lip quivered as she knew what was coming. He gripped her hand tightly, trying to get her attention. She looked down as his chapped lips opened. 

“Don’t forget me, okay?” His final breath lost in the air and Octavia collapsed into Lincoln as they both started crying. Clarke reached up to Bellamy’s forehead, kissing it and whispering,

“Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed that. Very angsty I know
> 
> Tumblr: Daddyclakre


End file.
